Benefits October 23, 2008

Excuse for Missing Work: I Drank too much Mouthwash

October 23, 2008 (PLANSPONSOR.com) - A third of workers in CareerBuilder.com's latest absenteeism survey have called in sick when they were well at least once this year.
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A news release said that while the majority of employers typically don’t question the reason for the absence, 31% reported they have checked up on an employee who called in sick and 18% said they have fired a worker for missing work without a legitimate excuse.

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Some 9% who played hooky admitted to calling in sick because they wanted to miss a meeting, buy some time to work on a project that was already due, or avoid the wrath of a boss or colleague.

Others missed work because they just needed to relax and recharge (30%), go to a doctor’s appointment (27%), catch up on sleep (22%), run personal errands (14%), catch up on housework (11%), or spend time with family and friends (11%). Another 34% just didn’t feel like going to work that day.

Of the 31% of employers who checked up on an employee who called in sick, 71% said they required the employee to show them a doctor’s note. Fifty-six percent called the employee at home, 18% had another worker call the employee, and 17% drove by the employee’s house.

“It’s in your best interest to be upfront with your employer and chances are you’ll get the time you need,” said Rosemary Haefner, Vice President of Human Resources at CareerBuilder.com, in the news release.

This survey was conducted online within the U.S. by Harris Interactive on behalf of CareerBuilder.com among 3,388 hiring managers and human resource professionals (employed full-time; not self-employed with at least significant involvement in hiring decisions); and 6,842 U.S. employees (employed full-time; not self-employed) ages 18 and over between August 21 and September 9, 2008, respectively.

When asked to share the most unusual excuses employees gave for missing work, employers offered the following real-life examples:

  • Employee didn't want to lose the parking space in front of his house.
  • Employee hit a turkey while riding a bike.
  • Employee said he had a heart attack early that morning, but that he was "all better now."
  • Employee donated too much blood.
  • Employee's dog was stressed out after a family reunion.
  • Employee was kicked by a deer.
  • Employee contracted mono after kissing a mailroom intern at the company holiday party and suggested the company post some sort of notice to warn others who may have kissed him.
  • Employee swallowed too much mouthwash.
  • Employee's wife burned all his clothes and he had nothing to wear to work.
  • Employee's toe was injured when a soda can fell out of the refrigerator.
  • Employee was up all night because the police were investigating the death of someone discovered behind her house.
  • Employee's psychic told her to stay home.
Administration October 22, 2008

S&P Warns of Severe Pension Shortfalls

October 22, 2008 (PLANSPONSOR.com) - Company pensions that went into 2008 in good shape may go into 2009 with what could be their largest underfunding ever from recent steep market losses, S&P warned on Wednesday.
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Reuters reported that in a research note, S&Psenior index analyst Howard Silverblatt said funds could suffer an underfunding greater than the $219 billion shortfall seen six years ago.

That is a big difference from last year when S&P 500 companies had $63 billion in overfunding in their pension funds , a level not seen since 1995, and going into 2008 were estimating an 8% return on pension assets for the year.

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According to Reuters, S&P said the companies had 61% percent of their money in equities at the beginning of 2008, but since then, the U.S. market has fallen over a third, while some emerging markets are down over a half, Silverblatt wrote.

“While someone might be doing 8%, the reality is that any pension fund manager that is even breaking even this year is most likely demanding a bonus,” Silverblatt said, according to Reuters.”When you calculate it all out at the current market returns, or even assuming a nice fourth-quarter rebound, you get a number that is worse than the $219 billion in under-funding reported in 2002, and that’s starting from the positive 2007 $63 billion position.”

The deficit will have to be dealt with through large, unplanned cash infusions, which will be difficult given tight liquidity in the market, Silverblatt wrote, Reuters said.

Silverblatt also noted that since 2002, accounting requirements have changed so that companies now have to include their funding status on their balance sheet.

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