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Out of the Mouths of Babes
Here are some great quotes from children taken from “Wit & Wisdom” by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. – Rutledge Hill Press. (I couldn’t resist putting my two cents in on some of them.)
On Family
- My little brother’s dirty diapers are worse than liver. – Matt, age 11
- My grandmother can say more in a sentence than a college professor can say in an hour and a half. – Angela, age 14 (as can my mother, my father, and a couple of aunts and uncles)
- You should never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato. – Angela, age 12
- If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. Parents always catch the second person. – Michael, age 10
- When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. – Morgan, age 11 (same goes for your hairdresser, I’ve learned)
- It seems like the oldest one always gets in trouble even if she didn’t do it. – Sally, age 11 (I have some personal experiences with this one.)
- You should never tell your parents when you’re curious about girls because many lectures will come in the future. – Reza, age 12
On School
- Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.– Tiffany, age 13 (especially about other people)
- The boys’ restroom smells, but the girls’ restroom doesn’t. – Devin, age 10 (true at home, in school, the mall…)
- All the bad things I’ve heard about algebra are true. – Erin, age 14
- You can’t catch a hard baseball in your mouth. – Joseph, age 10 (or in your eye socket)
- When teachers get old, like over fifty-five, they’re always in a bad mood. – Lindsay, age 8
- When you want to stay home from school, you have to stay in the bathroom a long, long time. – Joseph, age 11
- When teachers are mad, they don’t blink. – William, age 12
- Food
- They put certain things in cafeteria food, so I don’t eat there anymore. – Kristen, age 9
- You should never order seafood at a hamburger joint in Nebraska. – Chad, age 11
- You should never sneeze with a chewed-up bite in your mouth. It’s a nasty experience. – Amanda, age 14 (It’s amazing what can come out of your nostrils!)
- I can slurp a slurpie through my nose. – Holly, age 12
- School lunches stick to the wall. – Patrick, age 10
- Putting your vegetables on your little sister’s plate doesn’t work. – Nicole, age 11
- I sometimes get a craving for chocolate chip ice cream that cannot be controlled. – Rebecca, age 11
- I’ve learned that goldfish don’t like jello. – Jlie Ann, age 9
General Wisdom
- You should always listen to older people. They are like living history boods and can teach you so much. – Cindy, age 13 (Write it down, video tape it, you’ll want it later.)
- Life is hard no matter how old you are. – Rosalinda, age 13
- A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. – Megan, age 14
- Someone is always better than you in one thing, but you are better than them in another. – Alecia, age 12
- You will never be happy if all you do is think about all the things you don't have. - Christy, age 17
- 99% of the time things aren't nearly as bad as you first thought they were. - Jessica, age 15
- Piano lessons can make fifteen minutes feel like an hour. - Jack, age 9
- Even though people claim to know what you're going through or dealing with, they don't. - Jaimee, age 14
- If you want something in a cereal box and it looks really big, it always turns out small and crummy. - Katie, age 9
- You should never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble. - Ann, age 15 (Amen!)
- When you lick a slug, your tongue goes numb. - Bethany, age 11
- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats! - Laura, age 13
- You should never mess with a kid that beat you up once already. - Dannie, age 10 (Or mess with someone who used you, cheated you, fooled you.)
- The smaller the print on things, the more important it is. - Julie, age 12
- Some of the most fun I've ever had was after my curfew. - Elise, age 14
- Being late is better than getting a fifty dollar speeding ticket. - Laurence, age 14
- It's not a good idea to spit while on a roller coaster. - Scott, age 11 (or out of the car window when the person behind you has their window open)
- One of the best ways to find out about a person's character is to play Monopoly with them. - Ellana, age 15
- You never open an umbrella in the car. - Ryan, age 7
- If you sleep in your clothes, you won't have to get dressed in the morning. - Stephanie, age 8 ½
- You shouldn't pull off the emergency brake in a car on a steep driveway. - Jeremy, age 12
- Life is filled with ups and downs but most of the time I'm going sideways. - Leslie, age 11 (I know the feeling.)
- Going a little crazy sometimes and doing something out of the ordinary is almost always rewarding. - Dawn, age 14
- Moving is one way of getting my room clean. - Russell, age 10 (or your house)
- It takes more energy to be mad or sad than it does to be happy. - Jaymin, age 15
- You shouldn't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. - Adrienne, age 12
- If you give your dad money for gas, you'll never get paid back. - Shawn, age 12 (not from your 20-year old son either)
- It's tough to be a kid, but even tougher to be a good kid. - David, age 9
- No matter how much you think you need it, don't borrow money! - Amy, age 12 (Someone should have listened to Amy before the mortgage and credit crisis.)
- You can tell what kind of personality a person has by what kind of shoes they wear. - Brittany, age 14 (a creed of many women)
- No matter how old you are, you always think that there may be something hiding under the bed. - Monica, age 13 (or in the closet)
- Dogs and mothers will love you no matter what. - Heather, age 16 (or, as I've learned, no one on Earth will love you like your mother does)
- The world is a wonderful place and everyone should shut up and enjoy it every once in a while. - Sarah, age 12