Tardy Excuses "Spring Forward"

So, in the interests of preparing you for what you may hear, temporary staffing firm Accountemps has compiled a list of the most imaginative explanations that 150 executives with the nation’s 1,000 largest companies say they have heard from tardy employees. Here’s a sampling of what can only be described as the adult equivalent of “my dog ate my homework”:

• “The dog was asleep behind the car and I couldn’t back out of the driveway.”
• “My dog swallowed my car keys.”
• “My dog didn’t come back after I let him out.”
• “I hit a mountain lion on the way to work.” (employers also recalled tales of unfortunate run-ins with moose and bears on the morning commute, according to the report).

Of course, these days it’s a lot more complicated getting to work than it once was, or at least it was for these folks:

• “A helicopter landed in the street and I couldn’t get around it.”
• “My garage door was frozen shut.”
• “My car keys fell into the toilet.”
• “The elevators in this building are too slow.”
• “I tried a new way into work and it took me two hours.”
• “The traffic lights were mis-timed on my way in.”
• “The line at Starbucks was out the door.”

Then there were the ones from folks who appear to be clueless about when and where:

• “I forgot what day it was. I thought it was the weekend.”
• “I couldn’t remember which time zone I was in.”
• “My wife and son took both cars and when I went outside there was nothing in the driveway.”

And then there are the ones that you just wish you could have been there to hear:

• “I was kidnapped by aliens.”
• “I’m not late. I decided to change my hours to make them more convenient.”
• “My roommate locked me in the bathroom.”
• “We had a death in the family.” (this might have worked better if this employee hadn’t told his boss this same family member had died several months earlier).
• “I couldn’t find a tie to match my shirt.”
• “The wind was blowing against me.”
• “My husband’s pet spider died and I had to console him.”
• “The bartender wouldn’t let me leave.”

And finally, there was one that might come up Monday as most of us “spring forward” – “I felt it was better to sleep in at home versus sleep at the office.”